Transylvanian humour

I get a lot of spam from friends who think it's a great idea to send around powerpoints with naked women to spread the word on cancer prevention, or to forward pictures of Santa Maria de la Croce del Ponte Azul con las Lagrimas Rosadas in order to make your life better....

Once in a while, if you rummage through the annoying list of jokey emails, you get to enjoy some small gems. Like the one I received today. Well, actually a couple of gems - really darn good Romanian jokes...
So, of course, I decided to translate and share.

The jokes are about people from Transylvania. That's where I'm from. Over there, people are very calm, they take their time doing things, nothing can move them, nothing is ever a disaster for them, they don't like to talk a lot, it's very hard to get them to say something, they like to think things out before they speak, and mostly they just prefer not to speak at all. At least that's what the jokes are made of....

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A Transylvanian on the train... Next to him, a huge bag is blocking the pass-way.
The ticket control constable comes by and tells him:
- listen buddy, take this bag and put it on the luggage rack, stop blocking traffic!
- For sure, sir, I will...
After a while, the constable walks by again:
- My friend, haven't I told you to put your bag in the proper place?
- For sure, I will move it...
- Don't you play games with me, I'll give you a fine you won't be able to carry!
After a while, the constable comes by again:
- what? you still haven't put this away? ok then, I'll teach you a lesson!
and he gives the man a huge fine.
The Transylvanian pays, the constable goes on his way.
Another traveller who witnessed it all cannot retain his amazement:
- Sir, you actually paid that fine? How hard could it be to put the bag where he told you?
The poor Transylvanian says:
- well, how was I supposed to move it, it's not my bag!
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Why do Transylvanians put bread crumbs in their soup?
- Any idea?
- So that they don't have to open their mouth twice.
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A Transylvanian walks into a bar and asks for a beer can. The bartender hands him one, the Transylvanian pulls out his pocket-knife and starts cutting away at the lid.
The bartender sees him:
- My friend, just pull on the ring, no need to bother with a knife.
The Transylvanian answers him:
- For sure, my dear sir, the ring is for those who don't have a pocket-knife.

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A Transylvanian walks into a bar in New York. The bartender tells him straight up that the place only gives drinks to people willing to take a dare. So he dares the Transylvanian to drink a bottle of whiskey in 30 minutes.
The transylvanian apologises, walks out of the bar, and comes back in about 10 minutes. Puts his money on the bar, and takes the dare.
The bartender hands him a bottle of whiskey. The Transylvanian drinks it up in less than 10 minutes.
The bartender is dumbfounded: - oh my god, I didn't think that was possible. I've never seen that happening in my whole life!
The Transylvanian:
- well, my friend, I didn't think it was possible either, but I went to the bar next door and I tried one to see if I can...