Archiecomics - will you hire me?

If I were a writer for Archiecomics, I'd have Archie go through a 2-3 years long engagement (that ought to guarantee a few high sale seasons, right?). In the meantime, he'd be trying his best to please the sexy, glamorous Veronica, while also offering his shoulder to Betsy for her to cry on. In fact, he'd be scheming up plans on how to get V and B to become best friends - in a potential attempt to establish a blissful menage a trois. This of course has many political implications, as legalizing polygamy might turn into a reality of the future (in a galaxy, far, far away).
In order to keep up with shallow, but (once again) glamorous Veronica, Archie would go through many personality disorders, which would be reflected in the comic strip by mind-boggling metamorphoses, whereby Arch is seen transforming into the Hulk, Spiderman, Wonderwoman, and, at last, Superman. It is thus that we shall witness the return of the hero we have wailed for so long. For, alas, Archie will prove to be none other than Clark Kent himself. I believe that unifying these two unique comic characters, as well as, of course, the implicit merge of DC and ArchieC (or should I say takeover?) will prove to be a crowd-pleaser throughout the crisis, panic struck North American continent. Think of all the jobs this will generate.
Anyways, getting back to our characters: I agree with you that the recent pairing of V and A is not the ideal, and also think that Bets should hook up with Jughead. Furthermore, I suggest that B does not do it simply to drown her sorrows, but to build a new comic book empire of her own. She will at first be part of J's little strip, of course, however, with time, she becomes such an imposing figure that Archiecomics will create a new style of comics just for her - and, in fact, will soon become Betsycomics. This wondrous transfiguration will take some time, understood - she does have the episode with the proposal to get over, plus all the subsequent sexual-innuendo-filled encounters with our Archie boy - all in all, perhaps, a few pages of nicely drawn comic strips should take care of that transition period. Once that is all exploited to the maximum selling potential, Bets will give up her silly name, and admit in front of the world (I suggest we do that on Oprah) that she is in fact Dr. Womanhattan – the mother of all being, the (flash)light, the (high)way, and the (half)truth.
I know that it seems as if she’s on to take over the (comic) world, however, I think there is still potential in Archie’s story. After realizing his true nature, that of a Superman, a Ubermensch, indeed, Nietzsche’s Zarathustra, Archie will dump little V and join the school of post postmodernism in order to train as a Jedi. Thus , you can see, my friend, his story is only beginning. (to be continued).